


A Creature Called Fear

by SapphireSoul102



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Bottom Sam, Consensual, Eventual Smut, Fear of Rejection, Feels, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Incest, M/M, Making Love, Oral Sex, Post-Episode: s09e13 The Purge, Secrets, Sibling Incest, So Wrong It's Right, Their Love Is So, Top Dean, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:09:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1612865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSoul102/pseuds/SapphireSoul102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Revealing secrets is a scary business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet evening in the Men of Letters bunker, and Sam tried to relax in bed with an interesting book and a cold beer, something much easier said than done as Dean’s footsteps fell silent right outside his door for the fourth time that night. Sam glanced up whenever Dean paused at his doorway, wondering if his older brother would actually knock or say something. Dean had chickened out and kept on walking three times already, but this time his knuckles met wood and he waited for a response.  
  
The bolted lock clicked and Sam opened the door. He looked at his brother questioningly before gesturing for him to come in. Things had been alright between them the past few weeks, but Dean looked rather uneasy as he walked into the room, and Sam knew something was askew.  
  
“Hey… Sam…” Dean’s voice was gravelly. He sat on the edge of Sam’s bed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “What’s up?” Sam sat next to his brother, their knees touching when Sam spread his long legs to get comfortable. Dean looked into his compassionate hazel eyes and chewed his bottom lip. “Sammy, I… we gotta talk--” Dean choked out. “What is it, Dean?” Sam rested his hand just above Dean’s knee and leaned a bit closer. The concerned look on his handsome face hit Dean right in the heart and he had to look away to continue. He decided staring at the floor was the safest way to get the words out.  
  
“Sam… I just… when you said that I saved you, for  _me_ …” Dean began, breathing deeply, hands clenched into fists. Sam stiffened uncomfortably and took his hand off Dean’s leg, but hell, Dean made it this far, and he just had to get this off his chest. “When you said that, you were wrong. I saved you for  _us_ , Sammy, and I… dammit, I just can’t believe that you wouldn’t do the same for me. If I were on Death’s door, you would do whatever you could to save me. Wouldn’t you…? Sam?”  
  
Dean felt raw emotions welling up to the surface, but he forced himself to look his brother in the eyes. What he saw was a broken, fatigued expression. “Dean…” he sighed, “Please, don’t…” Sam had a solemn look in his eyes; he seemed so weary, like he was tired of hiding something, something he’d kept hidden for far too long. He ran trembling fingers through his hair and wouldn’t look Dean in the eyes.  
  
Dean gripped his brother’s shoulder tight and spun Sam around to face him. “Okay, Sam. If I were about die right now and there was even the  _slightest_  chance of saving me, you would really let me go just like that? After all we’ve been through? Together?” Dean was on the verge of tears. Sam jerked Dean’s hand away and stood up to walk to the opposite side of the room. “That’s just it, Dean! Why would I  _want_  to make you continue going through this hell of a life when you could just be done with it all?! I told you, I was ready to die, and I meant it! It’s _you_  who can’t let me go!”  
  
Sam turned away from Dean and banged his head against the wall before punching it so hard that it cracked. His fist dropped down to his hip and he sighed deeply, rotating his body and leaning back against the wall. Sam let himself slide down to the floor, forehead resting on his knees. Dean remained on the edge of the bed. He dared not say a word. A heavy silence filled the room, and Dean knew he better wait for Sam to break it. The worst thing he could do was make Sam storm out on him and make a run for it.  
  
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” Sam said quietly. He stared blankly at Dean’s feet before shifting his gaze to his brother’s face, which answered for him. “It’s alright, Dean… so am I-- afraid, I mean…”  
  
The elder Winchester honestly wasn’t sure what he was referring to. “Afraid of what, Sammy?” Dean’s eyes flicked upward to follow Sam’s face as he stood up. Sam returned to the bed and positioned himself at the headboard, sitting with one leg half stretched out, the other bent up to his chest. He looked at Dean with the ghost of a sad smile on his lips.  
  
“The truth, Dean…”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam grabbed his bottle of beer off the bedside table and took a swig before looking over expectantly at Dean, who furrowed his brow and asked, “Uhm, what truth are we talking about, exactly?”  
  
“The truth…” Sam placed a hand over his breastbone, “in here.”  Dean’s face paled a shade when he finally understood. “So, our feelings…” It was something he tried to avoid thinking about. “Yeah…” Sam leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and sighed as though he were engaged in an internal struggle. “We’re both…” he exhaled and rethought his words, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling before looking at Dean once again. “I know you’re afraid to believe what I said, Dean, but it’s true. If you were in my position back at that hospital and I knew you were going to die, I would’ve accepted it… I would’ve let you go…”  
  
The words felt like a punch to the gut, forcing the breath out of Dean’s lungs as he looked into his brother’s earnest hazel eyes. He knew Sam was telling the truth, that he really would just let Dean die when the time came, and that truth was more painful than any physical wound ever could be. Sam watched solemnly as Dean’s watery eyes welled up and spilled over, unable to hold back the anguish burning inside him. He looked down and closed his eyes tightly, willing the tears to stop, but the flood of emotion was too much to contain.  
  
Dean watched his tears fall quietly to the floor, his chest tight with heartache. He thought back to the days they were so close, always there for each other, like brothers should be; a time when they were  _both_  willing to die for each other… Dean knew he could never let go of the most precious person in his life without exhausting every possible way to save him.  
  
Then Dean remembered all the things that went wrong between them along the way. Every vicious argument, harshly revealed secret and lie that tore them apart until there was nothing left to stitch back together. Dean held his face in his hands. He let the tears flow freely now, let the reality of his life sink in, and it ravaged any hope of reconciliation with his little brother. He couldn’t imagine how this moment could be any more painful.  
  
“Dean, there’s… something else…” Sam sounded hesitant, almost apologetic. Dean said nothing, waiting for Sam to continue. The elder Winchester stared at the growing puddle of tears at his feet, the image blurred by the wetness in his eyes. He heard Sam sigh and gulp down the rest of his beer, then felt the bed shift as his little brother moved to sit next to him, eerily quiet. Dean wondered why Sam was holding back. “What is it?” he implored, still watching his tears fall to the floor.  
  
Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled with a shudder. “I’m afraid to tell you… but I’m even more terrified of what you’ll say,” he confessed. Dean held his breath for a moment. What in hell could Sam be hiding that was worse than what he said already? Dean’s heart was shattered, his hopes destroyed, so he figured it couldn’t get any worse than this. He wanted to be strong, not avoid whatever truth Sam had to say; Dean looked up at his brother without wiping the tears from his face.  
  
“You know you can tell me anything, Sam,” Dean put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, hoping his words sounded as sincere as he intended, sincere enough for Sam to confide in him. Sam looked into Dean’s watery green eyes, shining like emeralds. The younger Winchester opened his mouth to speak but a miserable creature called fear closed it again. Trepidation was the only force that kept his mouth shut all those years, what made him bury the truth so deep inside he convinced himself it no longer existed, but it was always there to haunt him.  
  
Dean’s voice retrieved Sam from his inner thoughts. “Please, just talk to me, Sam. We can figure this out. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it,” Dean reassured. No matter how much Sam hurt him, Dean was still his big brother, and he believed it was his job to take care of him. Sam had a sorrowful, fearful look in his eyes as he spoke. “I’m not so sure about that, Dean…”  
  
They sat there in silence for a while, Sam formulating the best way to get this off his chest, when static and white noise suddenly hissed from the radio. “The hell…?” The Winchesters turned to look at the ancient device that suddenly came back to life. The static was warped into music as if someone was tuning it, stopping on a particular song.  _\--from the look in your eyes, yeah. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven, turns to daaark._  Neither of them said a word. They simply looked into one another’s eyes.  _Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do…_  
  
Dean couldn’t take it. The combination of emotional torture and sentimentality was just too much.  _I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why…_  He stood up to turn off the radio when he realized it wasn’t even  _on_. Weird. None of the buttons and knobs worked.  _But listen to your heart…_  All he could do was lower the volume.  _\--before you tell him goodbye…_  Dean sighed and sat back on the bed as the instrumental portion of the song played quietly in the background. All he cared about at the moment was making things right with Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song that starts playing --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTViilJ5DSQ


	3. Chapter 3

“So what was it you wanted to tell me, Sam?” Dean waited for an answer; Sam waited for the right words to come to him. He leaned over, elbows resting on his legs, and breathed deeply. Mustering his courage, Sam sat up straight and looked Dean in the eyes. His lips barely parted when the radio spewed out a flicker of white noise before tuning in to another song at full volume.  _All my life I’ve felt this way, but I could never find the words to say--_  Then silence. Dean was not amused. “Alright, what the hell’s going on with this thing?” He got off the bed a second time to investigate the spastic machine.  
  
Sam was simply perturbed by how disturbingly fitting the songs were, like the radio was talking to him, trying to tell him something.  
  
“There aren’t even batteries in it…” Dean stared at the empty battery slot in the back of the radio. Then he remembered something. “Dammit, Cas, are you messin’ with us?” Dean asked aloud. Honestly, who else could be doing something like this? “Hello, Dean.” Castiel appeared behind him, stoic as ever. “Cas, what the hell?! How long have you been in here? And why are you playing all this sappy shit?”  
  
Dean tossed the small radio to Cas, who caught it gently. “I arrived shortly after you two started… discussing. I thought this might help,” Cas looked down at the radio before glancing back and forth between the Winchesters. “I felt that Sam needed some encouragement to admit he--”  
  
“Cas!” Sam snapped, “Just get. The hell. Out. Our problems are none of your damned business,” he glared at the fallen angel. “This is between Dean and I.” Castiel looked to Dean, who nodded his head in silent agreement with Sam.  
  
Cas sighed and placed the old radio back onto the bureau. He turned to the younger of the pair and frowned. The stubbornness of Winchesters was so tiresome. “You need to tell him, Sam…” Castiel disappeared with the sound of fluttering wings, leaving Sam and Dean to sort it out themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one line that plays on the radio is from this song --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t5JbPU1Vy4


	4. Chapter 4

Now Dean  _really_ wanted to know what Sam was hiding. He hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed next to his little brother, who held his face in silence.   
  
Sam was torn between two terrible choices: finally telling Dean the truth and seeing what happens, or keeping his secret hidden and leaving things as they are. He sighed, sitting up straight to look at Dean. “Cas is right… I need to tell you… I really don’t know how to say this, Dean, but…” Sam closed his eyes, thinking. He sighed and tried letting the words flow on their own. “Back in the church… I was relieved that we were finally about to close Hell, forever. I was ready to sacrifice myself and put an end to all the evil, for the greater good, but that wasn’t the only thing… in the back of my mind, some part of me was glad to be free from… this. This life, and these… feelings…”  
  
“Wait, Sam-- you’re telling me it would be easier to just  _die_  and give up everything than deal with your damn  _feelings_?!” Dean hated hearing Sam talk like that. Not caring about Dean was one thing, but not caring about his own life was entirely different. Before Sam could say a word, all the pieces suddenly fell into place in Dean’s head, pure sadness subduing his expression. He stared off into nothing as he spoke. “So I guess you’d be relieved if I were gone, huh? Then you wouldn’t have to--”   
  
“Dean! Just stop,” Sam grabbed Dean’s shoulder, forcing eye contact. He knew it was now or never. Breathing deeply, he silenced his mind and opened his heart, letting the truth spill out so his brother would understand. “You got it all wrong, Dean… just because I would let you go… that doesn’t mean I  _want_  to lose you… even if I can’t trust you like I wish I could, like I should be able to… I still love you, Dean. Nothing could change that… No matter what my head’s thinking, I can’t help what I feel in my heart… and I… God, it doesn’t make sense, but I think… I think I’m…  _in_  love with you…”  
  
Sam didn’t know what to expect once the words ‘in love’ passed his lips; perhaps a ‘What the fuck, Sam!?’ or a well-deserved punch in the face…  
  
Dean blinked a few times, considering what he just heard, then he laughed.  _Laughed_. To Sam, it was infinitely worse than the disgusted rejection he had anticipated. The low chuckle felt like a blade plunging into his newly exposed heart, filling him with a bewildering mix of sadness and anger. It was too much to take. Sam quickly got off the bed and headed for the door. Dean grabbed his wrist, halting his exit. “Where you going, Sammy?” he asked as if nothing was wrong. Sam didn’t turn around to answer. “Somewhere. Anywhere…” he replied, jerking free from Dean’s grip and taking another step toward the door.  
  
“Sam, don’t be like that--” The elder Winchester rose off the bed to position himself between Sam and the door, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. Sam backed away from Dean’s touch. “Just get outta the way, Dean…” Sam didn’t look him in the eyes. “What? Are you pissed ‘cause I laughed?” Sam just glared down at him in response. Dean was a real idiot sometimes. He sighed and offered an explanation for his unfitting reaction. “I was just surprised it wasn’t something as, I dunno,  _disturbing_  as you built it up to be,” Dean explained. Sam looked at him, thoroughly confused. What about being in love with your brother  _wasn’t_  disturbing? And why was Dean so strangely  _okay_  with this?  
  
“Both our lives were fucked from the start, Sam. Nothing about us ended up being  _normal_. And after what you already told me, after all the crap we’ve been through… I think we can just add this to the list and call it a day,” he gave Sam a quirky smile.   
  
Sam eyed him suspiciously. “Dean… if you’re just fucking with me I swear to God--”  
  
“I’m not, Sam. I promise…” Dean stepped closer to his little brother, offering open arms. “C’mere, Sammy…”


	5. Chapter 5

Sam feared this was all a convincing act meant to preserve their relationship. He searched Dean’s eyes for the slightest hint of disdain or disgust; all he saw was contentment and acceptance. “Dean…” After a moment of hesitation, Sam embraced his brother tightly. He was enraptured to know that, for once, everything was going to be alright between them. Sam closed his eyes and breathed a deep sigh of relief, smiling.   
  
He could hardly remember the last time they’d held each other like this. The feeling of Dean’s arms wrapped around him, the warmth of his body… Sam absentmindedly pressed his lips against the curve of Dean’s neck in a gentle kiss. He was pleasantly surprised when Dean didn’t push him away. They separated and simply looked at each other, Dean’s hands sliding down Sam’s back and sides before lingering on his waist.   
  
“I love you too, Sammy…” Dean spoke softly, raising a hand to Sam’s face. His fingertips ghosted across Sam’s cheek, trailing down his neck before stopping at his shirt collar. Sam shivered at his brother’s uncharacteristically gentle touch. Green eyes met hazel in a moment of sweet intimacy, then something in Dean’s expression changed. “And all this time…” he loosely entwined his fingers behind Sam’s neck, pulling him a bit closer, “I thought  _I_  was the only one who had these fucked up ideas about us,” he peered up at Sam through his lashes, smirking deviously. Sam could hardly believe his ears.  
  
The younger of the pair had fully convinced himself long ago that if he ever did get the nerve to tell Dean how he felt, it would get him nowhere. He assumed that Dean would either sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, or he would disown him as a brother. After preparing for such disappointment, Sam was at a loss for words. “Wait, Dean… you… you actually--”  
  
“Yeah,” Dean cut him off. “Ever since we found out that fans of those  _Supernatural_  books see us as a couple, the stupid idea just stuck in my head, and the thought of us being  _together_  together got less and less weird, til I didn’t think much of it. Then my imagination got carried away and the idea got more and more…  _tempting_.”  
  
Sam’s jaw dropped at the blatantly suggestive tone in his brother’s voice, and Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam’s stunned expression. “What’s the matter, Sammy? Am I too hot to handle?” Dean grinned seductively, running his fingers through Sam’s dark chestnut brown hair. “Ah, Dean…” To Sam, Dean’s touch felt like heaven. He leaned into it, relishing the sensation of Dean’s fingers caressing his scalp. The older of the two smiled smugly, pleased to know he could affect Sam in such a way.  
  
“Please… tell me I’m not dreaming…” Sam breathed out the words, his heart racing, mind reeling. Dean took hold of his wrists and wrapped Sam’s long arms around his shoulders, knowing Sam was too stupefied to do it himself. He ran his fingers down Sam’s lean sides, clasping his hands at the small of Sam’s back. Dean tilted his head up to look Sam in the eyes, bringing their lips dangerously close together. “You tell me, Sam…” he closed the space between them, pressing their bodies flush against each other, “…has a  _dream_  ever felt this  _good_?”


	6. Chapter 6

Any residual doubt in Sam’s mind melted at the heat of Dean’s shamelessly flirtatious words. Sam swallowed hard before answering his brother’s coquettish question. “A dream… can’t even compare to this, Dean…” Letting go of all past fears and inhibitions, Sam closed his eyes and softly pressed his lips against Dean’s. It was brief and unsure, over in a moment, like a first kiss all over again. Only this… this was different--  _better_. So much better. They’d already gone so far beyond fucked up that neither of them questioned why it  _didn’t_  feel strange. They looked intently at one another, deep affection and long-suppressed desire glazing their eyes. It all felt so right that nothing needed to be said. Dean brought their mouths together once more.  
  
Exploratory kisses quickly became feverish and demanding. Hands anxiously pulled at clothes, hips grinding against each other. Sam groaned as Dean eagerly kissed and sucked his neck, leaving marks along the way. A venture into forbidden territory was imminent, but neither of them had any experience with this. Neither of them had slept with a man before… it was all a bit strange, feeling strong, hard muscle instead of the soft, womanly curves they were both accustomed to. Dean slid his hands down to Sam’s ass, grabbing the firm flesh with zeal. He grinned wickedly against Sam’s mouth, pressing himself harder against Sam’s body. Yeah, he could definitely swap a woman’s breasts for his brother’s broad, toned chest.  
  
The Winchesters avidly groped and kissed their way onto Sam’s bed, toppling onto one another and friskily wrestling for position. Dean took hold of Sam’s wrists and managed to pin him on his back, straddling his wriggling hips. Sam was already panting with lustful anticipation, silently imploring Dean to continue. Dean released his little brother’s wrists to pull Sam’s shirt off. He rested his hands on Sam’s bare chest, smirking devilishly at his willing victim, eyes alight with excitement. Sam tried propping himself up on his elbows to kiss Dean again, but was held in place by Dean’s palms pressing down on his chest. Sam huffed impatiently.  
  
“Shh, Sammy. I wanna look atcha…” Dean cocked his head as he reverently gazed at Sam’s body. His fingertips trailed down Sam’s chest and stomach until they came to rest at the edge of his jeans. “You don’t know what you’re doin’ to me, Sam…” Dean uttered in a low voice, undoing the lone button securing Sam’s pants. He slowly pulled down the zipper, licking his lips and grinning lustfully at his younger brother. A blip of realization suddenly sparked in his eyes, neutralizing his salacious expression. He swung his leg over Sam and slid off the bed. “Uh, Dean?” Way to kill the mood…  
  
“Be right back,” Dean said on his way out the door. Sam sat up and scooched to the edge of the bed, raising an eyebrow. He could hear Dean rummaging around frantically in another room. “The hell…?” Sam said aloud. What was Dean doing? Just as Sam was about to investigate, Dean reentered Sam’s bedroom, holding something. “Dean?” Sam’s confused expression was disarmingly adorable. “Here,” Dean tossed the unknown object to his little brother. “Figured it might come in handy,” he smirked, waiting for Sam’s response. Sam rotated the small bottle to see the label. It was lube.  
  
Sam looked at the tube, then at his older brother in slightly shocked disbelief. "Really, Dean?" he asked, an unidentifiable emotion inflecting his voice. Not exactly the reaction Dean was hoping for.  _Shit…_  Dean’s stomach sank. “I uh, I mean, we don’t… just, only if you want to…” he glanced away, suddenly unsure of himself. Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean’s unusually diffident demeanor. “Don’t  _you_  want to?” Sam questioned, confusion and disappointment in his eyes.  
  
“Of course I do! You’re the one looking at the thing like it’s a bottle of poison, ” Dean quipped. Winchesters were always good at being overly dramatic. “What are you talking about?” Sam questioned. Dean folded his arms over his chest defensively. “You made a face, like I crossed the line or something, went too far…” Sam stood up and walked over to him, tossing the bottle of lube onto the bed before slinking his long arms around Dean's waist. “Dean… I want this… it’s just hard to believe this is really happening, that’s all… it feels like a dream…” Sam spoke softly, slipping his hands into Dean’s back pockets.

Sam's lips curved into a smile as he tilted his head and looked Dean in the eyes. “ _I want you, Dean…_ ” he purred, leaning in closer, cheeks flush. The pure, passionate desire written on Sam's face was all the reassurance Dean needed. Sam wanted this just as badly as he did, Dean was certain of that now, and he briefly wondered how both of them had hidden this secret desire so well for so long. “You want me, too?” Sam feigned innocence, leaning in to brush his nose against Dean’s cheek. Dean smirked and firmly gripped Sam's shoulders, confidence back in place. "Oh,  _hell_  yes, Sammy."  
  
They lunged at each other, all sucking lips and swirling tongues and roving hands. The awkward moment of uncertainty was over, and although it was merely 10 o'clock, it was clearly bedtime for the Winchesters.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam separated the kiss and anxiously tugged Dean’s shirt off before being shoved roughly onto the bed by his older brother. Dean practically attacked Sam’s mouth, biting and sucking his lips. Their bare torsos pressed against each other, hands fisting in one another’s hair. They’d never felt so much of one another before, and it was utterly intoxicating.

Dean broke the kiss to eagerly lick and suck Sam’s neck, and the younger of the two tilted his head back to give Dean full access. Dean grinned, nipping at Sam’s jaw line. “I love how you’re letting me take control like this…” he whispered, taking hold of Sam’s limp wrists and holding them above his head. Sam made soft whimpering moans as Dean sucked his neck so hard it was guaranteed to leave a mark, and for some reason, Sam really liked that idea. The thought of being claimed by his older brother was quite a turn on.

Dean worked his way down Sam’s neck and clavicle before turning his attention to one of Sam’s nipples. He slid his wet tongue over the pink nub, making Sam shiver. “I bet no one’s ever touched you like this, huh, baby?” Dean gently grazed his teeth over the sensitive flesh, eliciting a moan from his younger brother. “No, never—” Sam trembled as Dean worked over the other nipple with his fingers. It was true; in Sam’s experience, women never paid much attention to that area. “Oh, Dean…” Sam watched Dean kiss and lick his way down his abs to the edge of his jeans. It was such a gloriously fucked up sight, something Sam only thought he’d see in his dreams.

“Oh, God, I wanna feel more of you, Sammy,” Dean gasped. There was a predatory glint in his green eyes. Before Sam could really register what was going on, his jeans were violently yanked off and tossed carelessly across the room. Dean kicked off his boots, unbuttoned his own jeans and shucked them off onto the floor, leaving them both in their boxers. Sam drank in the sight of his brother’s body before eagerly grabbing Dean’s shoulders and pulling him down into a passionate kiss. It was much easier to feel how hard they were for each other now that their jeans were out of the way.

The elder of the two broke the kiss and reached down to rub Sam’s cock through the fabric of his underwear, making Sam moan and contort his face into a nearly pained expression of ecstasy. His cheeks were flush, lips swollen from kissing, eyes full of lust and love and longing. Sam found his own heaven on Earth under Dean’s touch, coming undone right before Dean’s eyes. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “Oh, fuck, Sammy… you look so pretty like this…” Dean panted, “so _hot_ …”

“I’m not, ahh, pretty…” Sam half-moaned, half-whined his revolt, making Dean smirk. “You’re right, Sam, you’re not pretty—” Dean leaned over his younger brother and kissed him on the mouth, slipping his hand inside Sam’s boxers to tease his cock with long, slow strokes. “You’re gorgeous. So fucking _gorgeous_ …”

Sam couldn’t bring himself to say anything, he just moaned at Dean’s touch, his words, everything. No one had ever said things like this to Sam, and it made the feeling of Dean’s touch all the more intense. “Ah, shit…” Sam bucked his hips up to match the down stroke of Dean’s hand, but of course Dean had to be an asshole and hold Sam’s hips still with his free hand. “Fuck you, man—” Sam grumbled.

“Heh, try the other way ‘round, Sammy. I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” Dean growled into Sam’s ear, tightening his grip on Sam’s hip and jerking him off faster. Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean with half-hearted annoyance. “Oh yeah? Says who?” Sam retorted, struggling to keep his voice steady as Dean touched him like no woman ever had. It was a pointless question, really. With anyone else, Sam would definitely top, but this, this was different. This was _Dean_. Dean was allowed to dominate and claim Sam any way he wanted to, and they both knew it.

Dean grinned, tugging off Sam’s boxers without taking his eyes off Sam’s face. Sam felt paralyzed by Dean’s stare, simply watching as his older brother grabbed the bottle of lube from the other side of the bed. Dean’s expression darkened as he squeezed some lube onto his fingertips before finally answering Sam’s pointless question. “Says the guy who’s gonna make you scream, baby,” Dean said with a low voice.

Sam’s cock twitched at the sound of those words, but his eyes went wide at the sudden cold, wet pressure against his unbreached hole. Dean leaned over Sam and kissed him, softer and sweeter than before. “Tell me if you want me to stop…” Dean looked Sam in the eyes, hoping Sam could trust him enough to relax. As much as Dean wanted Sam, he still cared about him too much to go full throttle right away. It was Sam’s first time bottoming, after all…

“Yeah, okay, Dean…” Sam swallowed. He knew this was going to hurt, even if Dean was gentle. Dean pressed against the tight ring of muscle with three fingers slicked with lube, massaging the area in an effort to make Sam relax. Dean didn’t have much experience or knowledge of anal sex, but he figured this was the general idea, right? He hesitantly pushed the tip of his middle finger inside, and Sam drew in a sharp breath at the intrusion. Dean watched his younger brother’s face carefully, slowly pushing his finger deeper inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam didn’t saying anything, but it was obvious he wasn’t enjoying it very much. Dean decided a distraction was in order. Without pulling out his finger, Dean repositioned himself so he was kneeling between Sam’s long legs, took hold of Sam’s cock, and swirled his tongue around the tip. Dean tasted salt and breathed in the subtle musky scent of Sam, who made all sorts of whimpering noises when Dean stopped moving his tongue. “Like that, Sammy?” Dean teased, smirking before he took half of Sam’s length in his mouth, making Sam groan with pleasure. Once Dean figured out how much of Sam he could take without gagging himself, he got a steady rhythm going, bobbing his head up and down, all the while slowly sliding his finger deeper inside Sam.

All Sam could focus on was the heat of Dean’s mouth around him, the suction of his lips, the wetness of his tongue… He didn’t even notice Dean had pushed one finger inside as deep as it could go until it started moving in and out. It felt strange, not really good or bad, but tolerable, and watching his brother suck him so enthusiastically was well worth it. “God, Dean… so good,” he moaned, moving his hips back and forth against Dean’s touch, unknowingly making Dean’s job of stretching him out much easier.

Dean pressed a second finger against Sam’s hole, making his breath hitch for a moment. Dean stopped moving his fingers at the sound. Sam watched as Dean lifted his head up to look him in the eyes, a shining string of saliva trailing from the tip of Sam’s cock to his lips. It was probably the hottest thing Sam had ever seen, but Sam was too disturbed by the intrusion of his virgin hole to fully appreciate the view.

“You okay, Sam?” The younger of the two drew in a shaky breath and nodded. Dean’s gaze lingered on Sam’s face a moment longer, just to make sure he was really alright with this. He lowered his mouth over Sam’s cock again and sucked harder, all the while gently pushing another finger inside, pausing to let Sam adjust to the feeling. It felt like an agonizingly slow process for Sam, even though Dean was doing his best to make it as pleasurable as possible. Sam vaguely wondered how Dean was so good at giving head, but he figured it best to keep that thought to himself.

“Just… put it in all the way, Dean…” Sam wanted to get to the part that would feel the best for both of them. Dean did as he asked, pushing both fingers in as far as he could before sliding in and out, moving his fingers around to stretch the tight hole. Sam winced at the pain, but impatience was getting the better of him. At this rate, Dean was afraid he might make Sam come just by sucking him before they even had a chance to ‘properly make love,’ which sounded cheesy as hell in Dean’s head, but hey, a little bit of good old-fashioned lovemaking never hurt. Sam’s breathless voice interrupted Dean’s sappy thoughts. “Another…” he implored. Dean raised an eyebrow. Well, Sam was asking for it…

Dean slipped the two fingers out and slid three deep inside, making Sam tense around him. Judging by the erotic sounds Sam was making, he was actually starting to enjoy it. Dean gave Sam’s cock one last hard suck before sitting up and lifting Sam’s leg over his shoulder to get his fingers at a better angle inside. Sam’s eyes were fixed onto Dean’s face as Dean fingered him, slowly at first, then faster, harder. Sam practically screamed when Dean curved his fingers upward and hit an unholy spot that sent jolts of pleasure through his lower body.

Dean’s expression darkened with need as he watched Sam lay there, panting and moaning. It made Dean ache with desire, feeling Sam’s body opening up for him, that tight ring of muscle finally relaxed. “Jesus, Sam…” Dean was pushing the limits of his self-restraint with each passing moment, and he finally couldn’t take it anymore. He tugged down his boxers with his free hand, slipping them off one leg at a time and letting them fall to the floor.

The sight of Dean completely naked made Sam’s thoughts go fuzzy. He imagined how much fuller it would feel with Dean’s manhood inside him instead of just three fingers, and his brain-to-mouth filter failed him. “Aah, I’m ready, De—”

Sam couldn’t even finish his sentence before Dean lunged forward and attacked his mouth, ravishing Sam with sloppy, fervid kisses that left him breathless. “Want you… so bad…” Dean spoke between kisses, slipping his fingers out of Sam and mindlessly wiping them on the bed. He broke the kiss only to put lube on his cock and position the tip at Sam’s entrance before leaning over Sam’s body to kiss him again. Neither of the two even remembered that condoms existed in that moment. So much had come between them in their lives; they didn’t want anything to separate them now.

Sam was fully enjoying the passionate embrace until Dean actually breached him, making him tense up. “Don’t move,” Sam said quickly, lips still pressed against Dean’s mouth. Yeah, Dean’s cock was definitely thicker than three fingers, and the sudden extra stretching hurt like hell. Dean immediately ceased his slow push forward, concern for his younger brother overriding the primal urge to thrust deeper. “Okay, Sammy.” Dean brushed a few strands of hair from Sam’s now damp forehead. They locked gazes and Sam could see all the deeper emotion behind the lustful need in Dean’s eyes. “Just relax…” Dean whispered against Sam’s lips, kissing them lovingly, softly stroking Sam’s hair.

The overwhelming intimacy of the moment made Sam melt under Dean’s touch. Staring into his brother’s eyes, Sam willed his muscles to relax, tilting his hips upward to take Dean further inside. Dean moaned into Sam’s mouth as the tight heat of Sam’s body slowly engulfed his entire length, and it wasn’t long before the pain of the intrusion became a sweet burn of pleasure for Sam. They separated for air, and the look of want in Sam’s eyes was enough to let Dean know it was time to move.

“Holy _fuck_ …” Sam practically breathed out the words as Dean slid halfway out and back in again. Dean’s body trembled with the effort of restricting the urge to fuck his brother into the mattress, but after a few slow thrusts, Sam wanted more. “ _Faster_ ,” he panted, and Dean happily obliged, gradually quickening the pace, Sam’s long legs wrapping around Dean’s waist. Sam felt like he was about to drown in the perfect feeling of being so close to the one person he’d wanted for so long. “Oh, God, Dean…” Sam moaned, twisting his fingers into Dean’s short hair and pulling him into a breathless kiss. 

Dean broke the kiss shortly after, panting hot against Sam’s lips. He looked into Sam’s hazel eyes and thrust harder, faster, his younger brother wrapping his legs even tighter around Dean’s waist. “God, Sammy, you feel fucking amazing,” Dean groaned, burying his face in the crook of Sam’s neck to lavish it with messy kisses. “Don’t, hahh… don’t hold back, Dean…” Sam held onto Dean for dear life as Dean pounded into him without mercy now, moaning Sam’s name like a sacred chant. It was rough and fast and Sam was all that mattered to Dean in that moment.

“Aaahh! Dean!” Sam was nearly screaming as Dean snapped his hips forward, over and over, sweat beading on his brow from the heat of their bodies being so close. “Sammy… fuck, I don’t know… how much longer… I can last… ahh, you’re just too good, baby…” Dean reached down between them and took hold of Sam’s cock, pumping it in time with his wild thrusts. “Dean… come inside me… make me yours…” Sam whispered. Dean was at his limit. “Fuck! Sammy!” he groaned, burying himself deep inside Sam before reaching his climax, stilling and quivering with the intensity of it.

Dean’s hand on his brother’s cock and the sudden, burning heat of his seed inside brought Sam over the edge. He came moments later, spilling over Dean’s hand and onto their bellies. “Aaah, Dean…” Sam panted, trembling as he felt Dean’s softening cock slip out of him. Dean gave Sam a long, loving kiss, then pressed their foreheads together and breathed in deeply. “Oh, Sammy… my sweet Sammy…”

The Winchesters closed their eyes and stayed like that for awhile, relishing the warm afterglow of lovemaking. “That was amazing, Dean…” Sam stroked Dean’s hair. “Yeah, and messy,” Dean commented. They were both covered in sweat and seed, which was starting to cool off and feel pretty disgusting. “I’m gonna go rinse off,” Dean got off the bed and smirked at Sam. “Care to join me, little brother?"

“Sure, just gimme a minute,” Sam smiled back. Dean winked and left the room. Sam stared up at the ceiling, limbs feeling heavy, eyelids wanting to close. He thought to himself that what just happened was probably the closest physical embodiment of how much they meant to one another; it made Sam feel complete, at peace. No more secrets, no more holding back, they could finally just _be_ , and that was all Sam ever really wanted.


End file.
